The Annual Easter Egg Conspiracy is Here

I see the “Dat Kadbrees as takun da wurd Eestur offa da frunt ov der egggz, itsan owtraje coz ov bluudy imimimimimigruntz!” story has started early this year…. don’t know whether that story or easter eggs will pop up first; the seasonal outrage seems to pop up earlier and earlier every year, normally by people who were outraged about “Christmas is going to be banned” stuff a couple of weeks ago. Rarely seem to find them near a church though. Anyway; same as last year, and the year before, and all the way back, the word “Easter” isn’t on the front, never has been, this is a pic from some Easter Eggs in the 70s, for example. It doesn’t need the word Easter on the front, in the same way as a brick doesn’t need to be labelled with the word “brick”, Easter eggs are quite clearly Easter eggs without the label, and if you can’t fathom it out, I’m sure reading isn’t going to help you. Also, its called branding; it’s obviously an Easter egg, so they can get on with putting more branding on the front. The word Easter will appear on the packaging somewhere, but it’s not hidden to not offend people (especially as the most easily offended people are the ones offended by cretinous things like Easter Eggs not having Easter on them in giant letters), it’s just not that necessary for non-morons. Also, if you are offended due to some mock-religious bullshit; point out to me in the Bible where the chocolate eggs show up.. were they the pudding at the Last Supper? Did a hoppy bunny lay one in a mystical moment during the Passion? Nope. If you are really offended by the watering down of an imported religion, maybe you should get annoyed by the adoption of pagan fertility imagery in it, and the rather crass commercialisation of a sacred festival. Or maybe you should be annoyed by Cadbury’s not paying tax? Or maybe, just maybe, you are a knee jerk imbecile, looking to be offended by absolutely everything and using religion as your excuse to be a xenophobic bigot? The Easter Egg doesn’t need the word “Easter” on the front of them, as they are obviously Easter Eggs, just as you don’t need the word “bigotted twat” labelled on the front of you, basically.
Incidentally, tax-dodging Cadbury’s also offer a whole range of things with the word “Easter” written all over the front of them too.
Now I want chocolate.


Note: The word Easter is on the top of one of those…. clearly Isis travelled back in time and made packaging designers move it…

Jez

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